Remarks to the NYSBA
NYSBA Dispute Resolution Section
Diversity Equity and Inclusion Committee
5/13/24
Hello and thank you Mary and Alfreida for inviting me to speak to the Diversity Committee about my experience as a “diverse” mediator.
In 2017 the Dispute Resolution Section awarded me a “Diversity Scholarship” to attend the State Bar’s 3-day Commercial Mediation Training, so I like to think of this as an opportunity to give a progress report on the bar association’s “ROI” and the benefits to me of that scholarship award.
NYSBA’s website states that the scholarship is given each year to “encourage greater opportunities for minorities and women in the field of dispute resolution.”
After I won the award people would ask me “what makes YOU diverse?” And I would just laugh.
In 2017, and I guess to some extent now 7 years later, you didn’t see many women of a certain age starting an encore career as a mediator, a field that at that time seemed like a closed circle of retired judges and a few very talented, experienced litigators, mostly men, but also some women, who had a lock on the disputes that judges would send to mediation or that the parties themselves wanted to mediate privately.
Two years later, when the Chief Judge announced a statewide mandatory mediation initiative in the courts, the winds of change were finally blowing, and that scholarship positioned me to be part of that change.
As a country lawyer in Northern Westchester 40 years ago I always believed that the parties to a dispute held the keys to the resolution of their dispute. That belief informed my role as a career Court Attorney at 60 Centre Street when I had the opportunity to oversee discovery and scheduling conferences in commercial matters. I always felt that the attorneys attending those conferences knew more about their cases and their discovery and scheduling obligations than I ever could. I took what I have since learned is “a facilitative approach” in those conferences, helping counsel to reach an agreement about their pre-trial activities that they would be willing to live up to.
When I left the Court system, mediation called to me. The State Bar’s 3-day training was the start of my re-education as a mediator. Since then I’ve taken many hours of mediation trainings across a broad array of topics and for a variety of end-users, through the bar associations, at the Community Mediation Center in Queens and at Elder Mediation training out of Needham, Massachusetts. I volunteered to mediate even before the state court’s roster program was initiated, and since the program launched, on court rosters at the trial and appellate level throughout the metro area and as a paid civilian mediator at the NYC Civilian Complaint Review Board.
As I mature into this next career, the issues that arise out of caring and planning for an elder loved one resonate with me most strongly. I prefer to handle mediations that affect elders. That includes Surrogate’s Court matters and civil litigation and appeals involving care and planning for an elder or general litigation disputes that affect an elder’s well-being. The substantive challenge of course is that I’m not an elder law practitioner or a trusts and estates attorney. But many disputes arise that are tangential to those areas of the law, such as should we take away an elder’s car keys, does mom or dad need help in the house that doesn’t rise to the level of appointing a guardian or other court intervention, but would give the family some peace of mind about mom or dad’s safety.
When a matter comes to me that is outside my depth I don’t hesitate to bring in an expert to offer information the parties might need to help them reach an agreement that will be in the best interests of the elder.
A large part of my efforts as I relaunch as a private mediator has been in informing lawyer and non-lawyer professionals and the general public about the benefits of mediation. I’ve spoken to financial planners, geriatric care managers, social workers and case managers, at nursing homes, professional development seminars, bar association committee meetings and to members of non-profits that serve elders in the community. I have a website devoted to my elder mediation practice where I blog, more or less frequently at times, about the benefits of dispute resolution through mediation and I have an active presence on LinkedIn.
For the past two years I have co-chaired the ADR Committee of the New York Women’s Bar Association, which is a chapter of the Women’s Bar Association of the State of New York. In that role, along with my former cochairs Susan Salazar and Carol Swidler, and my current co-chair Tania Pagan, we have heard from experienced mediators, court administrators and NYC Commissioners, as well as this committee’s current co-chairs, about the need for and benefits of alternative dispute resolution in all types of forums and in all types of disputes.
In preparing for today’s presentation I read this committee’s mission statement which states:
“The Diversity Committee serves to encourage, foster and support the development of diverse talent and diversity in ADR.
To further our goal, we have initiated a program to reach out to, and coordinate with, minority bar associations to have joint programs with them and to encourage their members to use ADR as advocates in their practices and encourage their members to become neutrals.”
I’m pleased to report that tomorrow the NYWBA ADR Committee will be cohosting with the NYSBA Dispute Resolution Section a program that features Simeon Baum as our speaker and is titled, briefly, “What is Your Conflict Style.” This program will offer free CLE to all attendees and came about as a result of the ADR Committee’s invitation to Simeon to speak to us at a simple lunch and learn. Simeon took the idea and ran with it and it became a co-sponsored free CLE event through his efforts and the cooperation of NYSBA’s administrators and we’re really looking forward to wrapping up our calendar of events this year with this program specifically chosen to address the challenges of women mediators.
I wish I could report that my practice is going to pay for my retirement but that is still an open question. Mediation is not the first solution elders and their support circle think of when they are in the process of making difficult decisions and are having trouble communicating with each other. Which explains all the time I’ve been spending on getting the word about mediation to this demographic through any means possible.
I’d like to share a short power point with you now so you can get an idea of what my workshops for non-lawyers look like:
PPT
These workshops often include a role-play when the program is live. The role play is usually a big hit after initial resistance by the attendees to turning their chairs around to face each other.
Next month I’m holding an open-house to make my work known more broadly. If you’d like to attend just shoot me an email and I’ll send you the details.
In conclusion,
I’m hoping that the Section is happy with the return on their investment in me back in 2017 when they awarded me that diversity scholarship.
The elder mediators that I’ve met in organizations like the ACR-GNY don’t have any expectation of getting rich doing this work but like me I think most of them see this as a service the public could really benefit from.
I just signed up for a refresher course on elder mediation to get updates on the latest tools mediators use when serving this population.
My intention is to stay focused and involved in elder mediation and to continue to educate and inform the public even as my practice develops.