In mediation, patience and persistence pay off

Patients and persistence pay off.

In a recent mediation between a citizen and an NYPD officer, the complaint centered around the officer telling the citizen first to sit down and then ordering him out of the precinct house, at the same time putting his hand to the citizen’s back and pushing him towards the exit.  The citizen complained that the officer and the other members of the force on duty at the time showed him no respect and were physically menacing considering his own slim build and their armed presence, with guns and tasers.  The officer countered that there was a lot going on in the precinct lobby at that hour and he was trying to keep the space orderly and safe for others. He acknowledged that he could have handled the situation differently. This did not appease the citizen at all and in fact only heightened his agitation with the officer and his response.  Although the citizen objected that this would never be resolved in mediation, I insisted that he keep giving the officer an opportunity to respond to the citizen’s continuing objections.  The office eventually acknowledged that he can always improve and was sorry he didn’t handle the situation differently.  Finally the officer was able to say “I’m sorry I didn’t handle it better.” And that did it! That completely changed the citizen’s experience of the event and the mediation and the dispute resolved peaceably right then.